Drop the Boxes

I have never been great at juggling, but that hasn’t stopped me from trying.  I’m not talking about juggling like circus clowns, I’m talking about trying to juggle life, although I think clowns do a much better job.

I always thought juggling life is just what Christians do while at the same time wearing a mask that falsely proclaims “I’m doing great!” I finally realized that act of “I have it all together” is just that, it’s an act. I learned the beauty of letting go, the beauty of trust and surrender.  

Several years ago, I attended a women’s weekend retreat and heard some amazing speakers plus Jeremy Camp in concert. He sings a song called “You never let go.” I had heard it play on the radio several times, but that night as I lingered in worship, the Lord spoke powerfully and taught me an eternal lesson. 

There were many different concerns and fears at that time in my life. During that song, the Lord gave me a vision that truly changed me. I saw myself standing with Jesus, but my back was turned to Him. Then there were the boxes, so many boxes. I felt overwhelming pressure to keep all of these boxes from falling, so I was juggling them trying my best to keep them from crashing to the ground. I was completely exhausted and completely oblivious to Jesus standing right behind me. These boxes held precious material and I could not fail. I felt as if it all depended on me and I had to keep them from falling. One box held my marriage, another held our son who was facing his third open heart surgery, another box held major decisions I had to make soon, and there were still many, many more boxes. In the midst of all the chaotic juggling and fear of failing, I heard His gentle and sweet voice:  “You can let go because I will never let go.”

At that moment in my vision, I winced and let go of the boxes afraid of what was going to happen to them. I turned into Jesus like a little girl turns into her Daddy’s embrace. Once I opened my eyes, I was amazed to see Jesus holding onto me and at the same time holding all of those boxes in perfect balance. He was not struggling as I had been, He held me and every part of my life together perfectly. I had to make the choice to surrender. I had to make the choice to trust Him. 

In Christ all things hold together. We can choose to trust Him. We can choose to surrender everything to Him. We can choose to let go because He will never let go. We can choose to drop the boxes. 

“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.“

Colossians 1:15-17