Don't Cry

It was New Years Eve and we had just arrived home from the hospital with our second son. Our oldest son, Trent was very sick with a stomach virus and wanted his Mama. So I was taking care of Trent while David watched over our newborn, Daylen. 

David came out of our bedroom and said "something is wrong with him, I'm taking him to the Emergency Room." I said "ok I will stay with Trent" knowing they would be right back because Daylen was fine.  I had prayed and prayed that this child would be completely healthy and believed that he was. After all we brought home a healthy baby.

I later received a call that Daylen's core body temperature was 89 degrees. Our son was dying, they were not sure why but suspected a heart defect.

As I was driving as fast as I could to the hospital still in unbelief and shock, I cried out to the Lord and asked Him to show me that He was there. Then I heard these words on the radio "Why are you crying, let me lift up your face, just don't turn away." Through tears, I said "Lord, you know why I am crying, my son is dying." I remember wailing and weeping through the ER not sure how I was even walking. I will never forget what I saw that night. Doctors and nurses surrounded our precious Daylen poking him and working on him and he was not moving at all. He just laid there lifeless.

Our son was later diagnosed with Hypo plastic Left Heart Syndrome (half a heart). He has had three open heart surgeries and many ups and downs but none compare to that New Years Eve night. Today he is a healthy and beautiful boy living with only half of a heart.

In Luke 7, Jesus told a woman "Don’t cry." Those two words don’t sound unusual until you know her story. You see, she was a widow who had just lost her only son. Jesus walked up to the funeral procession and when He saw her, His heart went out to her and He said "don’t cry." She did not ask for His help, but His heart went out to her, He couldn't help Himself, He had to reach out to her.That's our compassionate Jesus.

This woman had every logical reason to cry. She had lost everything, her husband and now her only son. She was in agony over the death of this son she had raised. This son that she had laughed with and disciplined. This son who she had tucked in night after night. This son who was no doubt her biggest comfort in the passing of her husband. This son that she watched grow into a man. This son, her son and now he's gone. Jesus saw her pain and her heart that was completely shattered and His heart broke with hers. Jesus knew what He was about to do so with compassion and love in his eyes, He said "don't cry." He then raised her son from the dead and gave him back to her.

That night through that Tenth Avenue North song, Jesus was not only asking me why I was crying but He was also asking me to trust Him and lean not on my own understanding. He was pleading with me to not turn away from Him. Yes I was confused and upset but this truth remains, I could never turn away from Him. Where would I go? Jesus was and is my only hope, my only help, the only One I can trust. I had a choice that night, I could become bitter with Jesus, my only hope or I could choose to walk by faith and trust Him even though I couldn't see the big picture as He does. I chose to walk by faith and not by sight. 

Is He whispering "don’t cry" to you also in the midst of your own tragedy? He wants to do something amazing through the tragedies of your life as well. Don’t cry, my friend, and please don’t turn away. Will you trust Him with everything? The Savior sees you and His heart goes out to you.